Tuna Destroys Fasting Attempt

I haven't written in a looooong time, but I never stopped existing. Or writing for that matter.
Since this is my blog, and its about me...and what I'm thinkin now...this email I just sent is pretty much it!


Oh Michelle.

I just had the most heinous first day of fasting fall of all time

As you saw from previous emails, my attitude was quickly being flushed down the toilet.

I felt my body and my psyche start getting clouded, hazy and lethargic. It was a very pointed attack at my person.

Then everyone came sweeping into the room with their lunch. One after another, fresh bouquet’s of lunchy smells….me muttering(rackinfrackinsissabrackin)

I distracted myself by writing a to do list…buy a shower present, clean the house for the shower, practice piano before Alix your boss makes you play in front of her again, find Christmas music books for my students…and then came an overwhelming desire for someone to rescue me from my life. Sweep me up and take me to some place of green and solitude, where all the tangled thoughts became untangled, and the wisdom of God was evident, and immediately acted upon…where I was instantaneously sanctified, no bad attitude…not a lazy bone in my body, full of energy, light and life….

I opened my food drawer.

One can of tuna.

Whatever tuna, I’m not going to eat you. You are Tuna in Oil and that’s gross. PLUS I don’t have anything to eat you on. Even if I wasn’t fasting.
Puh.

Whatever Jess, don’t you remember that you bought a loaf of whole wheat flax bread that’s just sitting in the fridge, waiting to be eaten. The last loaf went bad, and you don’t want THAT to happen again….

You know what, I don’t recall that. I’d have to check. On the extremely unlikely chance that I actually do have a healthy loaf of flax bread in there, I might eat you…but that’s not going to happen.

Uh, yeah you will. Because not only is there bread, there is Fire Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato soup from the last fast you were on, and that will go bad too. Remember you’ve been craving Tuna for 3 days, and the last time you ordered, the restaurant was out? Do you remember how annoyed you were? Well I’m here now, sugar….

Well…(opening the fridge)…that does look perfect….You know what, it’s just not going to work, because I don’t have my jar of low fat mayo anymore. It would be gross without it….oh. Someones jar of full fat mayo. Sitting right there. Plus mayo packets in the butter drawer. No more excuses. No more ways out. Arrghhhhhhh! WHERES THE CAN OPENER!!?!?!

And so. Without further adieu. I made my sandwich. And I made it warm. To match my hot soup. The same meal I ate at least once a week for my entire childhood. Tomato soup and tuna is superb Jessica comfort food.

Aaaaaaahh.
I felt the tension in my brain melt. I felt good. I felt so much better. My mood instantly lifted!

Michelle whats wrong with me!?!?

This is ridiculous!

I should be able to fast more than 4hours!

I really do want to do this…except that I just broke it and I suppose to you it looks like I don’t. . I’m picking up again from this point…I’m sorry..

Signed,
Your Wayward Accountability Partner currently searching for The Flow of Abundant Grace